Scholes 193 vs Slaithwaite 179-9
A little bit short – as the actress said to the Bishop. The keenly awaited top of the tables clash at HQ between Scholes with 33 points and Slawit with 32 from 7 games unfortunately went left.
Scholes won the toss and surprisingly batted, as the Welshman was planning to stick them in anyhow. The reasoning became obvious from the beginning of the innings as Smith threw the kitchen sink at Killer’s first ball; the game might have been somewhat different had the ball looped into someone’s hands rather than into the space between and behind cover and point.
However, it was not to be and both Smith and Noble chanced their arm in the opening overs and were 47-0 off 6! Mitch replaced Killer as the latter had been serving up a few too many full length balls, in an attempt to extract the optimum from the swinging ball, and the runs dried up to a degree.
Noble was dismissed for 33, with the score on 85, by a well judged one-hander from the Welshman off The Bicep’s bowling. Scholes’ overseas man Shoaib Khan arrived at the wicket having scored more runs than anyone else in the league although after Saturday’s effort they surely must have added up those he scored in the playground as well.
Those of us that were stationed on the off side were completely redundant has Shoaib’s bottom hand assumed a mind of it’s own as 6 different balls in one over ended up in the same area of the outfield.
Unfortunately, he was dropped early in his innings at mid off trying to push one to square leg and subsequently managed to squirt a horrid 35 before being put out of his misery by Killer, who had returned after his top-side tantrum about being moved a whole 5 yards in the field; it was the biggest paddy since the pork-pie shop was shut.
Scholes were now 158-2 and a large total was looking likely, but Old Chicken Piss was back and badder than ever and, after Kanay removed Smith for a handy 83, The Accidental Angler began his rampage through the Scholes middle order dismissing Sloppy after a sharp catch from FS (more on him later!) then took 4 wickets in 4 balls across two overs either side of an over from Kanay in which was dropped, by our now legendary mid-on FS Turner, the EASIEST catch in the history of mid-on-ery.
As the gentle, looping gobber floated harmlessly towards him, he apparently muttered something about the Sun (which was behind the clouds?) and then appeared to try, unsuccessfully, to catch the ball in his jock-strap which he then found quite amusing. Capt Welsh, on the other hand, didn’t and, even though it wasn’t a Sunday, the fuse was lit and burning brightly and FS certainly felt the sharp edge of the Captain’s tongue (ahem).
Fortunately, the recipient of FS’s benevolence made up part of Killer’s 4-in-4 so the score was barely affected. Kanay had Bubbles caught behind shortly after and the innings closed at 193. A fair comeback from 158-1 to 193 all out and losing 9 wickets for 35 runs was no doubt disappointing for Scholes and should have provided us with the necessary impetus to go on and win.
However, following an impressive start from Sloppy and Richard Reid we were always on the back foot despite Dingle repeatedly parking old Big Beard over by the compost heap. Unfortunately, Reid had the last laugh having Butch caught in the deep for an entertaining 23, but then proceeded to have some sort of grand mal in between pointing Butch to the dressing room in 3 separate poses.
The hirsute harasser was quickly pacified by the offer of a willow scarf but to get so carried away either indicates that he’s on £50 per wicket, or he had mistaken The Dingle for Adam Gilchrist. There was certainly no similar case of mistaken identity with Slawit’s No.3, caught behind without wasting Mick’s ink. The Skip’s first (and only) scoring shot – a glorious cover drive – flattered to deceive and all of a sudden we were 40-3 and behind the rate.
Kanay didn’t appear his confident self, appearing to struggle throughout with Khan’s angle and varying bounce; his 61 still held up an end though, with able assistance from the middle order – FS 15, Double Agent looking very comfortable on 17 before becoming the next victim in what might turn out to be a very long line of run out casualties by the end of the season.
Mitch and Troutfinger both contributed gamely and a couple more overs with either at the wicket could have made all the difference but it was not to be and, as the wickets fell and the target got further away, the result was clear and Smoko and Holty easily collected the point, the latter needlessly giving Reidy an extra £50 with a last ball yark.
A disappointing result, particularly as I thought Scholes were probably at their best but we had more in the tank. Also, Chris Kilner’s bowling display certainly deserved the headlines that a victory would have ensured rather than the sub-heading it was actually apportioned.